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Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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In this section he gives some concrete ways to change our self-talk to help us push through those mental barriers. I get that sports are as much about the mental game as anything, but just not what I'm really looking for. When we satisfy basic needs, we create an environment where people play to win, instead of playing not to lose. All actions that clue us in on Knight’s actual definition of toughness, one founded on showing no weakness, bulldozing through obstacles, and utilizing fear to establish authority and control. But if these superficial goals don’t resonate with your actual desires, you’re unlikely to meet them.

Below, Steve shares 5 key insights from his new book, Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness. It shows how traditional markers of toughness, like putting on a brave face and pushing past pain, can actually hinder physical and mental performance outcomes in the long term.Do Hard Things is a recent book from an author of my favorite book about burnout (Peak Performance).

It’s about making the right choice under stress, uncertainty, and fatigue—this requires emotional control. It protects from physical or psychological threat, such as shielding our ego from the bruise of failing a job interview. And I love a book that completely redefines concepts you previously disliked so you can see them in a much more positive light.This section of the book deals with learning to know when and how to push through certain situations. What does a child who was taught to follow the rules unquestioningly out of fear do when a parent isn’t there to dictate his behavior? This book runs through a lot of topics around toughness and busts the myth of suppressing and ignoring negative emotions and tough situations. Both Apple and Google state that they ensure that only users who have actually downloaded the app can submit a review. So if you’ve said that learning Icelandic will take you six months max, but it’s six months in and you’re still struggling with basic grammar, you’re likely to give up.

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